September 9, 2012

Creepy Uncle T.J.

(Reader submission)

My uncle T.J., my dad's older brother, worked as an assistant manager at IHOP for 5 years. I don't know why he never made it to full on manager. So when I was going to community college and needed a job, my Dad suggested I talk with uncle T.J., he could totally hook me up with a job at IHOP.  Not exactly my dream job, but hey it would help me out through college and give me some extra money. Uncle T.J. was the uncle who I always thought of as kind of cool, me being the only boy in the family it was nice to have him come around and listen to give me untrue facts (in later years I would learn) about the birds and the bees. He was about 8 years older than me he felt more like a big bro than an uncle. He still sometimes would show up at high school parties with a keg, I thought it was funny and didn't really care. Maybe guys are different. My sisters hated him and my mom would call him a mooch. T.J. never had any money, would eat everything in our fridge and just leave.
But Uncle T.J. hired me on the spot, first as a busser and then eventually I would train as a server. My first day at work, I came in 15 minutes early, cause you know, I'm a responsible guy. After about 45 minutes of waiting for Uncle T.J. who had not shown up yet, some other server ended up showing me how to buss tables. Uncle T.J. showed up an hour late, eyes red as a tomato and reeking of marijuana. He patted me on the back and said, "Woahhhh... someones trying to get my job. Thanks for coming in early" I laughed and told him he was late. He ended up looking at his watch for about 5 minutes and then said "Battery must have run out."
For the next couple of weeks, while the job sucked, it wasn't that bad. Uncle T.J. was pretty much loathed by all the girls who worked there. The hostesses and other waitresses avoided him like the plague, would roll their eyes at him whenever he walked by. I never understood why really, I mean he was just always Uncle T.J. not that bad of a guy.
The more I worked there I did pick up on things, such as T.J. sneaking off in the back to smoke weed with the dishwashers quite often. I noticed he checked out the other female staff women parts like blatantly. I remember he had a conversation with one of the waitresses who was rather large chested and starred at her chest the whole entire conversation without looking up once. I started to become a little embarrassed. "You can't do those things man.." I tried to reason with him one day after work.
"Do what?"
"You can't rub up against the female staff like there isn't any room, you can't mention how good their uniform is fitting them today.. it's like sexual harassment. You're creepin' people out."
"I'm just admiring the beautiful female form that's all. There ain't nothing wrong with telling someone they look wonderful."
It was hopeless. I don't think he understood what he was even doing.
After another week or so, I kept working watching Uncle T.J. I mean he wasn't a bad manager, he just had the look, you know which only happened if you were female.
The next day I went to work and Uncle T.J. never showed up. I figured he called in sick or had a rough night. One of the waitresses who had trained me pulled me to the side and said "So you know that T.J. isn't coming in today right?"
"Uhhh no."
"Yeah he totally got fired, and pending an investigation maybe criminal charges."
She pointed to a window near the table, which had obviously just been replaced judging by the fresh paint and yellow caution tape over the table.
"Yeah apparently he had been buying alcohol for the one of the underage waitresses, I guess he asked her for a blow job in return for the favor, and she called him a loser or something and grabbed the alcohol and rode off with her friends in another car., T.J. got pissed off and according to the police report was heavily intoxicated and threw a brick through the window."
I shook my head in disbelief. Fucking Creepy Uncle T.J. throwing a brick though a window because an underage girl he'd bought alcohol for wouldn't give him a B.J.

1 comment:

  1. Damn, that's pretty bad. And hilarious! Thanks for posting.

    Nestled in Nostalgia

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